Deleted scene from the fantasy book 'Sisters of Jade'
- James Downe
- 15 minutes ago
- 10 min read
As I wrote the Sisters of Jade Trilogy, I cut several scenes. It's bound to happen. Something doesn't work as well as I thought it would, or these scenes throw off the pacing, or bring the wrong things into focus and give promises to the reader that I have no intention of fulfilling.
Whatever the reason, they end up being cut.
But I still keep them. (Well, most of them...) Taken out of context, I think these scenes can be interesting looks into the ways things could have been.
I wanted to share one of these deleted scenes from my fantasy book 'Sisters of Jade'.
If you haven't read the books, don't worry.
There are NO big spoilers here.
Here, we get a look at what Jona's trip with Senator Hukasa looked like early on. Jona is a young girl, kidnapped by Hukasa, a senator of the Gorgon Court. The same starts more or less the same as the version that made it into the book, but quickly changes.
Jona is with Hukasa on a ship, pretending to sleep as the senator writes. But instead of what happens in the book, he takes her up top to get some fresh air...
SISTERS OF JADE: PART 2 - CHAPTER 3
“How long have you been awake, girl?”
Jona lay still, though he knew she had been watching.
“Still refusing to speak? Hate still flowing in your veins? No matter. Time will heal these scars. These wounds will mend. They must, or you will not survive.”
He sat down on the edge of her small bed. She felt his weight on the feather mattress, trying not to flinch as he brushed his fingers through her hair. He was angry, she knew, but not with her.
“You have lost your parents,” Hukasa said. “And I have lost my wife and child. We are kindred spirits. I have much to teach you, to show you about the world. And it starts in Asula Port. Kestrel thinks to rid himself of the threat I have become, but we will prove ourselves on the Malign Shore.”
She wanted to cry as the senator bent close, his lips brushing her forehead.
“Come,” he said to her. “I am frustrated by these tired old books. It has been days since we saw the ship. I need a walk, and I’m not such a fool as to leave you on your own.”
*
The deck of the Torrid Reef was broad. The crew were already seeing to their daily tasks. They had not stopped since disembarking from Mgen Riy. The shores of Alrend’ris and Gorgon Sea were far behind, and the lands of Kyono and the Malign Shore grew closer with every dawn.
The ship was not the largest vessel in the Gorgon Court’s fleet, but it was substantial. A four-masted barque, the ship carried more than fifty Company of Stone mercenaries. Flags flew on the masts, the coiled serpent of the Gorgon Court snapping in the wind, the red and white sword of the Company below. The crew wore uniforms of burgundy and grey, though they did not wear chain hauberks or mail like the mercenaries in the cities. Even the kaskara, the traditional blades of the Company of Stone, were few and far between, the mercenary sailors preferring smaller knives and daggers when climbing the rigging and seeing to the daily maintenance of the vessel.
The captain was the lone exception in this.
Captain Saolre stood by the wheel overlooking the deck, her military jacket perfect, kaskara hanging below her left arm.
Jona knew that despite the task of delivering Senator Hukasa to the Asula Port, she did not care for the man’s feelings or intentions. Escorting the senator was her current assignment, and that was all. She did not speak to Hukasa unless necessary, preferring the company of her crew to that of the senator. And, while he had never spoken his feelings aloud to Jona, she knew the senator felt the same. Something had been done to the man, something irreversible. His family had been lost to illness, but there was something else there, some betrayal that had sent both the senator and Jona on their current path south.
Guessing would provide Jona few answers. And, she suspected, it mattered little in the end. She did not want to help the man nor save him from his torment.
She wanted to watch him die.
“Senator Hukasa,” Captain Saorle said from her post beside the ship’s wheel. “What a pleasant surprise to see you out of your cabin. The quarters are acceptable I hope.”
Her tone told Jona she did not care about the senator’s comfort or well being.
“Suitable,” Hukasa said with a curt nod. “I merely felt the need to see the dawn, feel the sun on my face. Continue on as if I am not here.”
“As you will, then,” she said, not caring one way or the other.
Hukasa led Jona to the rail where he stood for a time, overlooking the waves as the sun slowly rose. The light spread like fire across a broad savanna, at first it seemed slow but soon the light was everywhere and only continuing to grow.
Jona leaned on the railing, the senator’s hand tightening on her shoulder.
In the distance, a spray of water erupted from the waves. Several of the crew gave a cry, and a moment later the ridged back of a whale broke the surface. Jona gasped as the massive beast dove back down, its tail rising as its body descended. Larger than any animal she had even seen, the whale swam down through the water, its tail vanishing below the waves.
“Cerulean whales,” one of the crew shouted, pointing off to the south as another of the massive animals pushed up through the waves.
“Are they a danger to us, captain?” Senator Hukasa asked, turning to face Saorle.
“Not in the slightest,” she said, eyes narrow as she scanned the waves. “Second largest beast in the waters, they say.”
“Do they?” Hukasa said. “What’s the largest?”
Jona flinched as something knocked against the hull of the ship. The force of it sent her stumbling into the rail, where she saw two gargantuan tentacles rising from the deep. She screamed, as the crew shouted warnings.
“Kraken-kin, senator,” Saorle shouted to Hukasa. “Dust damned giant squid!”
Jona looked back out to the waves to see one of the whales wrapped in long, pale tentacles. The massive animal was snared, trapped by another squid rising from the depths.
“Hooks and harpoons!” Saorle shouted to her crew. “Fire when you can, but don’t burn the damned ship. Clear these tentacles now!”
Jona and Hukasa watched as the crew worked, fighting the strange, alien limbs that rose from the water. They worked fast, long harpoons driving into the tentacles, seeking to push them from the hull before the beast ensnared the ship completely. The captain had sword in hand, chopping at a tentacle that had crept up the stern of the ship. Crewmembers ran to her side, more harpoons piercing the flesh of the squid’s alien limbs.
The deck pitched beneath their feet. Jona was sent from her feet, falling into a crate. Hukasa was at her side, roughly pulling the girl back as a tentacle lashed the air above their heads.
Someone screamed. A crewman was hoisted from the deck by the long, pale limb and pulled down beneath the waves. Fleshy tentacles and suckered arms were everywhere, each more than a foot wide, their length unknowable until the beast rose to the surface.
Only a few moments had passed, and only now did the rest of the crew emerge onto the deck from below. More calls and shouts burst from their ranks, and three more crewmembers were snatched from the deck and thrown into the waves.
Captain Saorle gave another command, though the words were lost to the roar of battle.
The ship rocked again, Jona falling into Hukasa's chest. The senator steadied her, both turning to see a small group of mercenaries rushing up to one of the tentacles with ropes and axes in hand. It was a struggle to contain the limbs, but after several attempts they had one tentacle held tight, the sailors fighting hard to hold it in place. Axes flashed, hacking deep into the flesh as blood spurted from the squid’s wounds. The crew shouted out a warning as another limb came down hard into the deck, sending the sailors flailing around the deck.
Hukasa lost his hold on Jona then. Seawater sprayed across her face. His fingers slipped from her waist, and she spared a look over her shoulder to see the senator stumbling into two other crewmen.
Rolling to her feet, Jona knew her chance for escape had finally come.
“Come back here!” Hukasa roared, but Jona was already running across the deck.
“Stop her” Hukasa shouted, pointing to Jona as she ran, but none of the crew could pull away from their battle against the giant squid.
Jona’s feet slipped on the deck, but she caught herself before tumbling over the side. She ran up a small stair to the forecastle. Here, the bow of the ship lay before her, one mast rising up into the sky. Quickly glancing at the deck, she saw more mercenaries hacking at one of the squid’s tremendous tentacles. There was nowhere else to run.
“You little witch,” Hukasa shouted, running up the stairs to the deck, eyes finding her at once. “You don’t dare run away from me!”
With nowhere else to go, Jona stumbled to the rail and grabbed onto the rigging. Swinging her small, light body onto the ropes, she climbed. Hukasa reached the rail below, his face red as he watched her ascend. Jona looked down, knowing the man would not climb up after her. Looking down, past the senator and the deck of the ship, Jona saw a nightmare in the waters below.
The giant squid, the beast Captain Saorle called kraken-kin, swam below them, its massive tentacles flailing up from the water.
Through the crashing waves and the sea foam Jona saw a massive, cylindrical body. From this mantle came eight arms and two longer, sucker-covered tentacles. Its total length was more than Jona could understand. If she included the length of the limbs, the beast was larger than the ship. The sight alone almost sent Jona falling from the rigging and into the waves. Her heart hammered in her chest and she grabbed the robes tight, the spray from below crashing up and soaking the girl as she thought about her mistake in running from the senator.
Though she was free from the man’s horrid gaze, she had never felt more vulnerable.
A cheer came from the deck as the mercenaries finally severed one of the beast’s limbs. The squid pulled back, spewing blood and seawater from the wound. The ship twisted, lurching from port to starboard as the great kraken-kin released its hold. Jona clutched at the rigging, but the force knocked her from the ropes and into the air.
For a moment she felt as if she were flying, free of the ship, the waves, the rigging. Free of Senator Hukasa’s hold. The moment passed, and Jona plummeted into the waves.
*
There was only darkness and a deep, rolling terror.
Jona gasped, but there was no air. Her lungs filled with water. Opening her eyes, she saw the giant squid swimming away, scared off from its meal, black blood churning in the water around her. She felt heavy, but from all her fear her heart began to slow.
Free, she thought. Soon, mother, I will be with you.
Shapes tore through the water around her. Mercenaries dove from above. They swam for her, and soon strong arms grasped her waist and pulled Jona back up to the surface. Her lungs, full of water, began to burn. She saw the people around her, but as she reached the surface her vision went black.
*
She woke on the deck of the ship.
Hukasa was beside her, as were three of the crew. Another woman knelt by her side, gently holding her head as Jona coughed up seawater. Her limbs ached, but her back felt as if it had been seared in hot coals. She wanted to cry, but could not do anything more than choke and sputter.
“There,” the woman said, whispering to Jona. “There now, you’re alright. You’re alright.”
“Will she live?”
This from the captain, who stood behind them. The woman at Jona’s side nodded, smiling at herself for saving the girl’s life.
“Good,” the captain said. “Maybe the senator will stop shouting at me now. Any other survivors in the water?”
“Four, ma’am,” another sailor said.
“How many dead?”
“Seven.”
Jona turned her head, unwilling to meet the eyes of the woman who had just saved her life. She knew she only had a few moments before Hukasa dragged her back down to his quarters, and wanted to enjoy the sun for as long as possible. The kraken-kin was gone, the ship alone in the strait once more. Squinting, Jona saw the severed arm of the squid still thrashing on the deck. Three crewmembers were trying to hold it down while two others hacked at it with their axes.
“We’ll eat well for the next few days,” the captain said, striding past the limb to check on the rest of her ship.
Turning back, Jona saw Hukasa approaching, his face still red, his eyes reflecting his rage.
The senator pulled Jona away from the sailor far too roughly, earning him a shout from the woman. Jona kicked feebly in his arms, a mouthful of water spewing from her mouth and down the front of his uniform. Cursing, Hukasa dragged Jona back down below deck to their cabin. She cried now as he threw her onto her bed, the senator fuming as he slammed the door, locking it from within.
“What did you think to accomplish?” he said, fighting to control his anger. “Where did you think you could go?”
He waited, but Jona only wept, her arms and legs pulled in tight to her aching body. Hukasa kicked at his desk, and when Jona still did not respond he threw a book against the wall.
“There is no escape,” he growled, turning back to Jona’s soaked and cowering form. “There is nowhere for you to go. We’re on a ship, stupid girl, both of us sent to a shore neither of us want to see. You’d do well to accept this fact. There is nowhere to hide from me, no way to escape this. This is your fate, and the sooner you understand that the better off you’ll be.”
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